#5

So, its been a while.
Well where to start? Over the last 2 weeks nothing has really changed. Exam results came today and I managed to get into Uni, so you would've thought that I'd be a bit happier. Well thats just me, always the downer. I just have one person, well actually 2, on my mind pretty much all the time, and one of them seems to be ignoring me. Well not really ignoring me, just doesn't want to talk, at all. I hope things change when I get to Uni...
Yea I know its a short one, but I really can't think of much else to write...

#4

Well what can I say, after a very short hiatus, I'm here again to write another pointless blog. In fact, I might make this a Monday, Thursday, Saturday blog.
I've done a lot of thinking recently, and sometimes I think that I don't deserve anything. Or maybe I deserve more than I think. I barely get any respect or responsibility, because clearly people think I'm incapable. And maybe I am, but I don't know that if I don't get asked to do things. How can I grab opportunities if none ever come my way? I just wish people would rely on me a bit more, I like being involved in things. Too often have I made an effort to recieve nothing in return, so maybe I should just not bother? I just wish someone would make an effort with me, obviously noone wants to, and I can see why. I'm insecure, have self esteem issues, incredibly shy. But I didn't get to being this way through choice, who would want to? My shyness had a lot to do with it though, difficulty talking to new people, girls I liked in particular, which has led me to being single for a very long time. I guess being sat behind a computer for the better part of the day doesn't help either.

#3

Day 3 of a blog that will probably never be read.
So today I started back at work for the first time in two weeks, and what can I say, I hated it. But it gets me money so who am I to complain. The only other good thing about it is the people, some of them are pretty darn awesome, the only reason I'm still there. Pretty sure I mentioned that in the last post. As you can see I don't really know what to say in these, so I may not do a daily blog as it's most likely gonna be the same crap repeated on a daily basis. Maybe 2 or 3 times a week would suffice.
Anyway back to my day, as if you really want to know. My emotions have been all over the place today, for reasons I'm not really comfortable expressing on a public site, yet. Sometimes I just feel like I'm completely worthless and never gonna amount to anything, or anyone. But what do I know? Lets just hope things get better soon.

#2

Day 2 of a blog that will probably never be read.
I jsut realised I never really talked about myself in the first post, so here goes:
I'm 19, born on 26th of September in 1990. I live in a small town called Worthing, and have done for my 19 years of existence. I spend most of my time playing video games (sad much?), but I also enjoy going out with mates, though it doesn't happen as often as I would like. Currently single (as if you didn't guess that from the first post) though I am in love with someone, who probably doesn't feel the same back. I recently been learning Dutch and am pretty rubbish at it, but I'll get there, I hope. I have been wanting to start to play drums, or pick my guitar back up, but I just never get round to it and there is no room for a drum kit in my house. I also really want to start trials biking, but I need to save money as I'm going to Paris with the family (well, mum, sister and her boyfriend). I work part time at Sainsbury's and I pretty much hate it, though the people working there make it worthwhile.
Well I can't think of anything else to post about right now. If I do I will surely post them in a future post.

#1

Day one of a blog that will probably never be read.
Today has been one of those days, feel like nothing ever really goes my way. I just wish things weren't so hard all of the time. For example, I find it hard to converse with people, not because I'm a social recluse, but because I'm incredibly shy. Even just messaging over the Internet can be hard but there's never any 'awkward silences' and I guess people find it acceptable to just stop conversations. Maybe. Or maybe I'm just being too critical of people. The main reason I'm talking about this is because I have been talking to this girl I like and have liked for some time, but I highly doubt she feels the same. I can never seem to keep the conversation going after it's been doing really well and don't want to feel like I'm just being weird or annoying by constantly speaking to her. Is it me? Should I take a hint and just leave her alone? I really don't know but if only she would tell me how she feels, it might make things a bit easier.
Anyways rant over, if you are actually reading this far, thank you, I appreciate the time you've taken, and will hopefully write more soon.